Last week, amidst my outrage over Eastern Mennonite University's athletic director refusing to respond to my email, I shifted my allegiance to Hollins University. Hollins, as Boyce pointed out, has no mascot. This gives us the opportunity to simply create the Hollins University mascot through grassroots efforts of just pretending that reality is already what we want it to be. In this case, the Hollins University Emus.
Yet it has recently been pointed out to me that Hollins University is an all-girls school. With no guys at the school, you would think the ladies could really concentrate on their sport. Yet, a check of the Old Dominion Athletic Conference standings in Women's Basketball shows that Hollins is an unacceptable 1-17, behind perennial doormat and resident jackass of the conference, Randolph College.
Has the Bird Casino hitched its wagon to the wrong star with Hollins University? Perhaps. Is the Bird Casino unable to figure out how to delete old posts that connect it with the school? Certainly. This being the case, we remain loyal to the Hollins Emus. If our godawful attempts at basketball fail, we've always got riding.
Though to be fair, it's entirely possible we're terrible at that, too. I'm not sure how you win at riding, but here's hoping we've killed a lot of the other teams' horses!
Is there anyone out there who could design t-shirts for the Hollins Emus? I figure if there were enough people wearing rogue shirts of the Ragin' Emus the school would switch just for the revenue opportunities.
I currently don't have a facebook page, so I'm wondering if anyone out there could start a group called the "Up with The Hollins University Emus! Down with Eastern Mennonite University!" If you do, I'll join it! Though I'd have to have a facebook account. And if I had an account, I could just make the group myself. You see how this could go on for some time.
Go Emus!
